


Wonderwall

by billspilledquill



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anti Konoha and shinobi system, Blood and gore//, Dark Naruto, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Minor Character Death, NaruSasu - Freeform, SasuNaru - Freeform, Self harm//, Slow Burn, Team 7 - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-01 19:04:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8634406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/billspilledquill/pseuds/billspilledquill
Summary: Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke's fate change when their eyes meet. The tale of Naruto is not the same as we have heard since then. They are juxtaposed mirror images, destroying each other while healing the broken. Something can be changed. Will be changed. Because what if Sasuke knew the truth since the beginning?What if Umino Iruka, the first one to accept Naruto, would collapsed under Mizuki's deathly blow?  Massive canon divergence / SasuNaruSasu





	1. Destiny begins - prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Everything will be slow. I will try to re built their whole characterization since the beginning. Because I can see a lot of potential in Naruto's character and Sakura's as well. Massive canon divergence ahead. 
> 
> Please let me know if mistakes are made! Thank you for your reading!  
> PS: short prologue

He is visibly shaking. Shaking hands. Legs. His veins are shaking, trembling to death. His eyes daring himself to move from the view of the dead body, daring him to look away, away, far away.

(Because he doesn't want to be here. Naruto knows that his eyes are shaking too)

The blood. The gore. The pain. And the _pleaseletmegoIhatethisIhatethisIhatethis_ —

(Because he feels his eyes cracked, struggled to death. His pupils are screeching an exit. Not this place. Anywhere. But not this place—)

Umino Iruka is lifeless on the ground, lifelessness reached him as fast as it comes. Naruto feels this enveloping him as well, struggling to breathe— to live, to move.

He seems to be screaming and crying and dying all at the same time. He finally moves his daze from the body when he realizes the other person from behind.

Mizuki.

The screaming stops.

"You little brat! Look at what you have done!"

The crying stops.

"Now, give me that damn scroll..."

He stops dying because he needs to be the one to protect.

(He is going to kill him)

Naruto jumps to Mizuki and starts punching him like there is no tomorrow, like every single punch is the last moment of his lifetime. He snarls and scowls and the blood, the blood are spreading on his face, his hand (and probably his heart). He doesn't want to stop. He feels the need to kill this person — this murderer, to feel his screams, his pain, his blood, and he wonders numbly how Iruka-sensei must've felt.

(He is sure his sensei had regretted knowing him)

So he punches for minutes, hours and all the seconds fly with the cursing words of Mizuki. Naruto is exhausted, but he keeps beating anyway. He is also tired about all the tears that make his head spin, his eyes burn.

(But it doesn't matter, nobody cares. He feels stupid that he cares)

(The ramen. He can smell it)

The _dreams_.

(The smile. He feels it)

_Stopstopstop **stop**_

(The words. He hears it)

Please... _stop_

(The body is cold)

The moon is shining peacefully on a white haired man, spilling and choking out blood, eyes asking for hope. Then he stopped to move. Naruto turns away from the body, and move to Iruka. He remembers he accused him to be same as the other villagers.

(He realizes he prefers him being the same as the others)

Then he collapsed on his beloved one.

XXXXXxxxxx

Naruto once had dreams about the future.

Dark grey faces were surrounding him, but not sending a single glance and the boy. They were always whispering in his dreams. Faceless adults and children gathered together, saying things he doesn't want to hear.

The blackened room was full of people, but Naruto felt like they weren't in the same place, they weren't in the same world. He lift his head and eyed them with a blank stare. He had made these dreams for too many times to actually care.

(But he did)

He looked at the shattered, overwhelmed eyes and voices, saying all at once the same thing. _Monster. Dirt. No one should love him. Why do we let him live._

And Naruto smiles. With his bright and warm grin, he tiled his head to the side, looking anywhere but the villagers.

"I know this already, do you have anything other to say?"

He then laughs, uncontrollably so. Laughing about a lot of things, laughing for them, laughing for him, laughing at this village and their say-so justice.

(Laughing at why he still cares)

"Naruto."

A hand reaches to him and he doesn't look up, too busy to laugh himself out of this place. Out of this dream.

"Naruto."

He slowly stops the laugh, and more slowly, he turns more, not wanting to hear this voice.

" _Naruto_."

He inhales a deep and shaking breath, not not not willing to seek for this warm, because he knows, he just simply knows—

"I have something to say, Naruto."

— this is not something he deserved.

The light comes for a little peak from the window, like the cold moon, embracing him suddenly. He can't breathe. Because the body who silently warps his arms around is cold.

But this is so _so_ warm so Naruto clutches his hands and buries his head in his arms. Everything feels safe now. The whispers disappear.

"Naruto."

"Uh?" Come his muffled voice.

"I am proud of you."

Naruto lifts up and watches with smiling eyes.

"I know, Iruka-sensei."

"I love you."

"I know."

"And everything will be fine."

The words fill the entire dark surroundings like a smooth wind coming from the cascades, loving like a gentle bird song, but freezing his veins and body without warning.

"No, Iruka-sensei," he says under a strangle cry. "Nothing would be the same anymore."

The day of Naruto's graduation, Iruka died, and Naruto survived from the attack. That's what the ANBU reports.

(But everything after seems to prove it was the reverse)

XXXXxxxx

Sakura watches in amazement as Uchiha Sasuke lifts his head and his dark eyes are fixing on the class broad, listening attentively to their sensei. Sasuke is a such beauty that she will never be able to get over with.

She realizes his eyes darting around, purposefully or not looking at an empty seat. Sakura vaguely remembers it belongs to Naruto. It is strange that the blonde isn't here to shout some obnoxious comments and being his annoying self in the classroom.

He is missing. Usually, nobody is late for the team setting, not even Naruto.

Sakura couldn't care less, to be honest. She doesn't understand why Sasuke seems to search for Naruto. He is always complaining about everything and she hates him.

(Well, she hates him because everyone hates him, but otherwise she doesn't care about him)

She cups her chin, looking at Sasuke happily, feeling the wind slowly lifting her hair. It is a wonderful day.

When she hears their sensei calls her for the result of the exam, she replies a cheerful yes and runs in front with all the joy in the world.

Sakura wonders where are Mizuki sensei and Iruka sensei while the person in front of her congratulates her for her graduation and tells her their member of her new genin team.

XXXXXxxxxxx

Naruto thinks that maybe his life is a wonderful lie.

(Or nightmare. Whatever.)

Because when he wakes up he can find nothing. He just finds all this emptiness and air and pain and blood that is supposed to be on his hands. Muzuki's blood.

The third Hokage had told him that he would keep yesterday a secret. Due to some fucking reputation reasons. And he will let him fucking graduate because he returned the scroll safe to Konoha. But they all know Naruto fell in exhaustion before even returning to the village. It was the ANBU squad who found him and brought the scroll back.

Letting him graduate is a kind of exchange, they are hoping he would calm down. They have done this for a numberless of times, but last time they did, they give him an Iruka. And he indeed calmed down.

Not this time.

He starts screaming and yelling in his own apartment, not bothering to think about the neighborhood, they find him disgusting either way. He breaks every single piece he can find in this tiny and dirty place, he feels he knuckles shattering in every way, the bathroom glasses are too much. Everything is too much.

The blood pouring, struggling to get out, his fingers curled into fists and he kneels down on the broken glasses. He is still shaking and crying and —

Whispering. Words. Words he wants to say to the only person that cared for him, unfinished sentences he wanted to finish, wanted to complete.

(It's a lot like praying)

"Iruka-sensei, I will eat more healthy food, I will be a great ninja, I will take care of myself, I will learn, and listen to you. And I am so sorry, I am sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry, I am so so sorry, I am sorry Iruka-sensei..."

(Praying that he will forgive him)

His knees hurt. He stumbles down on his bed, pieces of glass still sticking to his hand and legs, didn't care that blood drained his sheets, and going back to another session of nightmares.

He wishes his life is a beautiful truth.

(Then he could protect the ones he couldn't protect before)

Tomorrow he will go to class, ask his team members, and get stronger.

XXXXxxxxxx

"Why I am with this bastard?!"

The loud sound echoes on the nearly empty classroom and makes Uchiha Sasuke wince at the disturbing voice that comes from Uzumaki Naruto.

The blond rudely points a finger towards him and gambles about 'why would a genius like me be in the same team as him' and so on. Sasuke is more than willing to shut his mouth with a fight, but he stays quiet nonetheless. He needs to think about his future plan once their teacher comes.

(He wonders why Naruto's knees and hands have bandages covering all over his skin and —)

Their teacher comes in.

(why his eyes are so blue, so ocean like, so _sky_ like)

"You are late!"

"Maaaa ma, I get lost in the path of my life so —"

"Liar!"

(Why can his eyes covered all the forgiveness and all the happiness in one sky than another, why the blue, the constant blue, the crystal like glass mirrored souls and why something changed in the unconditional love—)

They soon moved to the rooftop, and he starts to ask their dreams. Sasuke of course scares everyone with his answer, Sakura's sure annoyed the hell out of him. But Naruto's is quite strange, incoherent to his character. His answer makes everyone turns to him.

"I want to become the strongest person in the world", he said, a grin on his face. And this makes no sense.

This boy beside him was always blabbing about how he wanted to become Hokage, what is he saying now?

(What changed in you?)

"So I can protect my precious people!", he adds, obviously determined about his newest dream. His sapphire orbs melt into soft cerulean sea.

(What happened?)

He hears Sakura ask, if not annoyed by the answer, "Didn't you want to become Hokage? Why suddenly you want to become the strongest?", even Kakashi is looking at him, seeking an answer from the still smiling boy.

Naruto looks at his bandaged hands, smiling smoothly like he is looking at someone else, smiling with such happiness that he seems to cry the next second.

(He wants to know what happened)

"Because I don't need acknowledgement anymore."

( _N_ _eeds_ to know what happened)

"One is enough. _One is enough_."

Sasuke looks at him with uncertainty, not sure if this is the Naruto he knows all along. 

(— changed when his eyes are filled with the same amount of hate as him)

"Make sure you all come tomorrow to the bridge at 5 in the morning. Ah, and don't eat your breakfast, you will throw up."

"Whaaaaat?!", come the sounds of Sakura and Naruto, both looking scared of what will come tomorrow. Even Sasuke gets a chill on his back.

(Maybe they are not so different after all)

With this announcement, Kakashi disappears and Sasuke knows the time has come.

The time for getting strong enough to find Itachi.


	2. The dusk

Kakashi likes morning person.

He has always thought these types of person are like the morning itself, radiating and bring his energy to everyone near them. They are unexpectedly or supposedly to be loved by everyone, enjoying the butterscotch ray of gold, feeling the warm embrace of the sun.

(He never thinks he deserves morning person, thought)

Sakura is the sunrise.

"Naruto baka! Why wouldn't he just hide himself like everyone else?", Sakura scowls, and Kakashi chuckles a bit for this manner. He can heard and see her from afar, cherry like hair spreading on the grass, pouting about Naruto's strange behavior.

She is a beautiful mixture from the cold air on the morning and the boiling temperature from the new born sunshine on Earth once again. Kakashi studied her flies before their encounter. Smart, grades higher than average, but easily distracted by boys. She lives peacefully in a small family, both parents are citizens of Konoha.

He studies her moves, calculated but not experienced. Clearly more developed on paper theories than actual fighting.

Sasuke's case is more dramatic, ironically chaotic. Born in a prestigious family, his psychopath brother killed his whole clan at the age of five. Emotional instability, being found once cutting his face and skin in his house, the only survivor of the massacre that no one seemed to care so far.

He just dodges three kunai directed at him while reading his orange booklet. He shouts a glance at the furious raven and the raging blond who can't hit him. He closed his book when he saw the hidden message in their brief stares. Naruto and Sasuke are moving as a pair, attacking him all of a sudden. He didn't expect this.

(He doesn't expect teamwork from them. Especially from these two)

Sasuke is the night. The only light in the charcoal black paint and the cloudless evening. The moon. His cold manner and intelligent behavior are artistically twisted with jealousy and hatred, and sometimes love.

(They are similar)

As they smoothly dance together with the wind trying to get the bells, Kakashi discovers his eyes. He stops for a second and wonder if these eyes belongs to an Uchiha.

(Of course they are, a friend who died a long time ago had made the same face)

The pebble pupils look about to smile. They seem so happy, so grateful, so —

(But the broken helplessness still remained on his heart)

—Alive.

"Hey!! I nearly touch the bell! Hey, listen! Why is me who get tied on this goddamn tree?"

Naruto is the dusk.

He is full of rage. He is full of hate. And he is full of love. He is a unmixed container, the two half of the globe. The morning and the night do not mix, Kakashi thought. Naruto is an exceptional specimen.

(This does explain—)

Naruto's case is crippling and extremely frustrating. Orphan since birth, obnoxious, grades under average, trouble maker, suicidal behavior observed by ANBU. Committed a murder just two days ago.

(—Why Sasuke has eyes full of hope when he looked at him)

"Dobe."

Kakashi conceals his chakra presence while observing the scene. His eyes wide in shock. He isn't excepting all of these would happened. And Sasuke is clearly not the one he had expected to do this. He keeps getting surprise today,

He hands his lunchbox at him.

(— and also why Naruto would have his eyes full of life when he looked at Sasuke)

Both of their teammates look at him with surprise, and Sasuke just gives them an annoyed look. He turns to Naruto.

"Eat this or you will slow us down, usuratonkachi."

"...But—", Naruto doesn't look like his usual self, he appears lost, like he couldn't believe someone would say this. He sees something glittered in his understanding blue orbs, something he should already gained a lifetime ago.

"You can take my lunch too!", Sakura then offers, an hesitant smile blossoms on her face. Feelings might blossom too, Kakashi smiles.

Naruto opens his mouth to protest, but close it halfway. He down his face, buttercup hair covering his eyes, but even far away, Kakashi can still see the painful grin he has on his whiskered face.

(Something like faith)

They stop the feeding when Kakashi suddenly appears. With his eyelids curved, he makes the great announcement.

"You passed!"

(Maybe the dusk and the night will follow each other until the end)

XXXXXxxxx

Sasuke hates this place.

He can still smells the sticky and bloody corpses all lied on the ground and all the lifeless faces that he once called them aunt or uncles. Or cousins.

(Mom and dad)

He steps into his own room, the only clean one. Blood still daintily covered the corners of the Uchiha compound, stubbornly drained every space, every memories, every—

He walks back to his home after Kakashi congratulated their win. He couldn't help but be proud that he passed. Not that he enjoys the way they passed, thought.

—every day he got the nightmares again and again and again.

(Until he cries and yells enough to stop dreaming about his parents and the voice who seemed to blame him, their eyes judging him every single night)

He seats on his bed, reading the papers he did reread countless of times. He can even states these words out loud. These yellowed documents are important. His hands are always shaking with anger when he carefully finds out the truth with the same amount of hate every time. Every day.

(So he can't sleep)

These are found in the deepest of the Uchiha compound, a cave where he finds out by accident, and he discovers at nine years old the dirtiest secret from Konoha. The Uchiha massacre. His fucking crazy brother listened his leader and fucking killed his whole relatives. And he only kept Sasuke alive to play with him.

He is going to fucking beat him and asking why he chooses Konoha instead of them.

(He wonders how much pain he must endured)

And then he will return to Konoha and beat the elders up too.

(He wonders if Itachi knows the consequences of his actions)

Asking why they would do this. Why to them— why the truth has been hid away from him.

(He wonders if he is alright)

Sasuke understands how wrong this is. He had been thinking a lot when he doesn't sleep. Or every moment he is awake and conscious. He acknowledges the rules in this ninja world, he had learned that from the academy. The rules. Hid until the enemy couldn't find you. And you should never, never show feelings towards your enemies or teammates. Do not refuse an corrupted mission nor a immoral corporation. Ninjas are tools, not humans. They serve for their village, which is why Itachi is working in the shadow. He becomes a real ninja.

He lies on the bed, blinks once, twice, and close his eyes. Force to concentrate himself and calm the rage down.

(He also knows that he wants to change this reality)

He swears to his mom and dad, their name, their souls, that he will change this. He will bring justice to their family, will change the ninja rules. He will do anything to make this work. This needs for work.

He just doesn't know how.

So he gets up, dressed himself and throws himself back at the nighty black, and goes to the training grounds.

(He will need to get strong, no matter what solution he will come to mind)

XXXXXXxxx

Naruto is panting. Sweating and cursing about why he couldn't hit the target with his kunai. He tosses his arm to the side, and seats down to the cold grass. He guessed it's already past midnight.

The trees seem higher than yesterday. Maybe it's because he finally takes time to breathe and relax. He bring his knees together, watching the stars, wishing his teacher is safe now, wishing and praying we would be loved, because he deserves it.

(Wishing he forgives him)

"Naruto?", he turns in exasperation to the owner of the voice, he knows exactly who it is.

"What are you doing here te—", he stops at the midair to remember to breathe. And continue.

(For one second, he thinks he did see the light)

"Same for you, dobe."

(Maybe it's because he has the moon behind him)

"Yosh! You are here to train too! I am not going to lose to you, Sasuke!"

"Shut up."

He seats down beside him, their backs touching. He is panting too.

"Ne, ne, you just trained?", he asks, not sure what to not. He doesn't know how to act when they aren't fighting, physically or verbally. He realizes they haven't had a proper conversation yet.

"Hn", he replies, between two short breaths. "I even heard you out there, stop screaming, usuratonkachi."

"What did you just call me, _bastard_?!"

(He ignores his tired form, his nearly closing eyes, and the slight rush of blood on his own face when the raven's hair accidentally brushes his cheeks. He hates the uncontrollable feeling of wanting to talk, to speak up his true mind to this nearly stranger guy—)

"U-S-U-R-A-T-O-N-K-A-C-H-I, don't make me repeat another time."

(—this may be the only one who he can truly expressed what he feels)

"Repeat again teme!"

Then they get into a fight that none of them excepted. No jutsu or techniques. Just fists. Skin crashing and this strange collision on each other make him feel so happy. He can feel with the dancing battle that Sasuke isn't the one to complain too.

(It's like a promise with no words)

When they are all too exhausted, they seat down on their former positions, backs still dumped into the other. The breaths are more heavier, but comfortable this time.

(That they will forever be fighting, not leaving the other alone)

"So, tomorrow our team meets on the bridge?"

"Hn."

"I won't lost!! And listen, I will surpass you and become the strongest of all!"

A pause. Sasuke lifts his head, causing their hair entwined together. The mix of blond and pitch black hair is hiding in the darkness. Like a secret only them would know. Naruto shifts at the motion.

"What? You are afraid that you will lose?"

"...Why?"

"What?", Naruto is getting impatient, he hates people who don't speak properly.

"Your dream. Why?", as subtle as it is, Naruto understands. The muffle voice and their blushing ears make him chuckle a bit.

"Wh—what? I am asking you a question!", he can't see his face, or else he would make a good laugh at him. 'The great Uchiha Sasuke blushes when he asks questions!', he would say that tomorrow to Sakura. He giggles.

He stops his laugh and crocked his head to the side, looking at the skies. "It changed", he tries to make his voice not suffocating to appears abnormal, "It happens, y'a know! Things change."

A long silence stretches ago with the stars, when Sasuke softly murmurs, "yeah... things changed, I know this."

He wants to ask more when Sasuke suddenly gets up. Naruto fells down on the ground, a cracking sound. Maybe his ribs.

(He feels for the first time—)

"Yitai! What are you doing all of a sudden teme!", he is rubbing his head with an angry expression, "You wanna fight again?"

"You should never leave a back to your enemy, Naruto."He takes a few steps, attempting to leave.

(That he could ask him questions, actually knowing him. He felt he could for once talk to him like he really understands, because 'hey you talk to me and I talked to you' and starting a real conversation)

"Ah", he stops, turning his head slightly so Naruto could see his fucking-self-confident-and-useless-smirk again.

(He feels for the first time he would started a bond)

"Don't be late tomorrow."

(He feels it— he _feels_ it on his shaking smile—)

"Yeah, you too, bastard."

(That the bond had been formed a long time ago, before both of them knew it)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dying for review *dramatic music on the background*


	3. Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to write fluff before any angst starts XD  
> Next chapter will be in the land of waves arc 
> 
> (Thank you so much for the reviews and kudos!! I always scream when I receive a comment xD)

Sakura is tired.

After countless D rank missions, the excitement slowly deceased to the boring feeling surrounding her and her teammates. At least she would have the chance to admire Sasuke during missions. Naruto always annoyed her every moments , but his out spoken mind really did help to release the tension of the team.

Their team is silent.

Sakura sometimes watch these boys from afar, watching them bickering about something totally pointless, that she would be bored to even listen back then. She would usually sat down and cried to remind them the mission is still ongoing. As time flies, and after the observing nature of her, she finds the secret of their relationship.

Talking without expectations.

They don't look like they are searching to win, they are talking, arguing, yelling at each other, but they don't seem to be bothered by that. They are finding a way to tapping others nerves, to simply fists or words. Sakura will always see the eyes who looked secretly at each other after turning away, trying to pretend to be angry.

She guesses that is what friends begin with.

(This team seems to be talking)

_Speaking._

"Aaaaaa!!!! Sakura-chan~ are you sure you don't want to go out with me? Why would you like this bastard instead? Ne, ne, Sakura-chan?", Naruto yells and points at Sasuke, who don't even shout a glance at both of them, walking on the walking path to another D rank mission.

"Naruto....Shut up."

(But she can feel the lifting tension, the thinking, the yelling, the dying screams that need to be heard, the strange atmosphere when they talk about the Hokage or the Kyubbi attack ten years ago. Whenever this was bought up, someone would change the subject and everything returns to its normal state. Kakashi reading his pervert book, Sasuke looking the surroundings, and Naruto... being Naruto)

"Ne, ne, Kakashi-sensei! What mission do we have this time? Rescue a princess?", Naruto then attacks Kakashi, eyes sparkling with excitement.

(Something was wrong)

"Dobe, you haven't you heard the mission?", surprisingly, it's Sasuke who answered. "We will go to Jiko-san's plantation and pick medic plants for the medic team", he sounds bored.

(Something is always wrong in team seven)

"Aaaagh!!! Why can't we do some more interesting missions? Like destroy an important organization? I am strong enough!"

Sakura doesn't say anything but she agrees on his point. She doesn't like dangerous things, but those operations are just plain boring that she comes to desire more exciting missions.

"You are not strong enough, Naruto.", comes Sasuke's strangely raw voice, he seems even more irritated than normal. Sakura wonders why he speaks so much today. "You aren't strong enough to see through the truth or lie, dobe. You can't even kill"

Then Naruto shut up, a painful expression comes once and he crooks his face away, shallowing a scowl. Sasuke appears to be confused, but he doesn't speak up. The team sets in an uncomfortable silence again.

(And it scared her. He shouldn't be like this)

The way to get to the plantation was strange, Sakura doesn't look at Sasuke, instead watching Naruto, who seems to be in a constant battle against himself.

"Worried?", came Kakashi's voice who provoked Sakura a little jump.

"No!", muttered Sakura to make sure the boys can't heard them."I— I am just—"

"Yes, yes, you are not worried", Sakura can't see through but she is pretty sure he smiled behind this creepy mask of him. "So, what are you going to do?"

"....Honestly, what is happening?"

"I don't know what you are talking about, Sakura." Said innocently Kakashi and she signs, uncharacteristic from her. Sakura is already tired of all this.

"I am not stupid, Kakashi-sensei. Naruto looks weird and Sasuke-kun.... Sasuke-kun always seems to hid something from—", she pauses and looks thoughtful for a moment."Aaaa! Screw it!", her patience is fading as she sees Kakashi's dismissal expression, clearly showing that he doesn't want to talk about this.

"Just tell me what can I do about this." She lets him win, looking more tired than ever. "This team is getting so uncomfortable for all of us."

Kakashi just letting a genuine laugh while he turns and looks at their backs. Naruto has his fists clenched and some blood are glittering out of his fists within the shining sun. Sakura shakes with horror at the scene. Sasuke chooses to look at the surroundings with an nonchalant look, but he shifts closer to Naruto when he hears an suspicious sound. Sakura chuckles.

(True dorks)

"Just get stronger, Sakura, don't mind them.", he suddenly announces and Sakura turns in shock. "You are a ninja. This is your mission", she wants to protest but stop at the sign of his eyes.

(They seem to see someone through her, someone precious to him, someone he didn't protect in the past. Someone dear)

"They have their own missions too."

(Someone who he had wish to say this before it was too late)

Kakashi stops, causing the rest of the team to take a break from the two hours of walk. They are in front of the plantation house. Jiko-san comes in person to greet them. As he invites them to get in, Kakashi whispers to her one more time:

"Get stronger, Sakura. That's all you can do for now."

She doesn't reply and walk in with the strange looking boys. She swears this is going to be a long day. She signs again and yells:

"Wait for me, Sasuke-kun!"

XXXXXXxxxxx

After the welcome, they begin the picking process. Everyone have given a section to work on. Sakura and Naruto are in the same bloc, while Sasuke stays with Kakashi, watching them. Or his book. Whatever. Sasuke needs to think.

(He wonders why Naruto didn't reply earlier with the normally high pitch voice, and why why why why for the love of god would he felt his heart aching when Naruto has this face. This agonizing expression)

His gaze moves to Naruto subconsciously, and while grabbing the flowers and plants with a silent gesture, he darts around and frowns.

(Why)

_Slaves._

Sasuke never thinks he could one day meet slaves. He has only know this is books and legends. And they aren't the same as mentioned in books.

They look happy, enjoying their daily work. He even thought before that they are only ordinary employees until he saw the chains discretely around their wrists and legs and their arc-like backs due to their countless work hours.

They are actually well dressed, Sasuke notices. They don't like to suffer from any malnutrition nor physical pain, as it is always mentioned in books. They seem to live a good life.

(So why would he felt so uncomfortable?)

A voice takes his attention away from the slaves.

"Hey hey!!! Sakura-chan!! This is for you!", yells happily Naruto, who look about to forget about his past silence. "This flower is as beautiful as you! I mean, you are the prettiest of course!" He rubs the back of his neck almost shyly.

Sasuke breaks the stem of the plant he is currently picking.

_What._

"Naruto-baka! Those medical flowers are for missions!", she replies back with an annoyed tone.

Sasuke feels his breath stops.

_The._

"It's alright Sakura-chan!", he said with a sappy grin. "It's just one.... and I think it suits you!", he then gives her a genuine smile, making her blush a little.

_Fuck._

"....Thank you", whispers finally Sakura, giving him a smile back. Sasuke thinks this is the first time he did seen her actually _smiled_ to Naruto.

Naruto then takes his basket and give a round, handing flowers to every single workers around here. He also frowns when he notices the chains on their waving hands, saying that they can't accept that.

He can hears Sakura and Kakashi's laughs, along with the slaves slow whispers.

The blonde walks to him.

(Why the fuck his heart is running through his ribs, and _why in the world_ he can almost feel his beating pounding out of his chest)

One step.

(He is not a fucking _girl_ , goddamnit)

Two.

He is still picking his plants, looking like nothing is happening. Nothing is actually happening, he tells to himself.

Three.

(He is _not_ —)

"Kakashi-sensei! This is for you!", he doesn't seem to see Sasuke, instead grinning teasingly at their sensei. "I know you love flowers!"

He can hear Kakashi signs. "Naruto, get back to work okay? You are still on mission, remember. A ninja should never—"

"Aaaaghhh! Cut this crap! Here!", Naruto tosses the flower in the jounin's arms and run away. "I will work! Just stop saying your boring rules!", he makes a face and sets to his original spot, looking once again concentrate to work.

(Uzumaki Naruto is a mystery)

Kakashi chuckles, "Sometimes he is kinda cute, right?", he says while contemplating the pink-ish petals.

(A something he doesn't process)

Sasuke scowls. The atmosphere lightens and seems to display. The smiles on their faces can not be denied. Uzumaki Naruto is a secret, and he couldn't help to gaze at him in the next hours of their silent work.

(Except him)

The gesture of picking becomes more forceful than it needs to be.

(Except him)

XXXXXXxxxxx

He is screaming again.

Run.

He is yelling again.

Run.

_Runrunrunrunrun._

He wants to run until his lungs die, until his heart breaks, until his heartbeat stops, until until until everything everyone else couldn't find him— until he couldn't find them, until they couldn't find him.

(Until he could stop watching again and again and again his sensei's corpse, until his guilt and the _IkilledhimIkilledhimIamsosososorryPleaseforgiveme_ would be gone—)

He wakes up with a sudden jerking, breathing heavily. He feels his eyes are slightly bleeding with overly wide eyes, and he soon realizes that everyone is watching him, since the guest house is big enough for the four of them they have pretty much all heard him.

They have an exhausting day, and he wakes up everyone.

This is bad.

(It keeps hunting him every single second)

"Umm... It was just a nightmare, I-I will go and take a walk", he is not a good liar, and he will have to go before anything blew up.

(Every time he breathes—)

He stands up, still a little bit dazed by the sudden wake. He stumbles and walks out of the room. He can feel everyone watching him, he just hopes nobody follows him.

(He remembers is because of him that he kept breathing)

He walks through the wooden pathways, looking at the stars slowly showing his light, glittering with a smooth shining light. He hears footsteps coming from behind.

Damn.

It was Sakura and Sasuke. They both look a bit sleepy, but a worried trait in their faces show that they are aware of what happened. Naruto bites his lower lips.

Damn he hates this.

"Is everything alright?", a voice comes from the deep pathways before their teammates could say anything. "I thought I was the only one who would wake up this early just to watch the moon." A graceful smile braces his lips, the plantation owner appears through the shadows, leaving them speechless for a second.

"Ye—yeah", mutters Naruto. "I just want to take a walk, but they are following me for no reason." He says, trying to get them go to sleep.

"You were yelling and crying, Naruto", whispers Sakura. "Of course everything is fine."

"I—"

"Maa ma, how about we seat down a bit to get over this horrible nightmare?", smiles the gentle owner."Nightmares happen a lot and it's not pleasant, right?"

(He wants to answer that yes, yes it is, really. _It is_ )

Naruto doesn't say anything, instead choosing to seat in the wooden floor, their teammates doing the same.

(It is grudging him from the inside, like when he found out the white bugs eating his skins while he slept in his dirty apartment)

After a moment, it is surprisingly Sasuke who breaks the settle silence between them.

"Ne", he begins. "Why your slaves look this happy?"

Jiko-san seems stunned by the question. "What do you mean?"

"The slaves, as I know, they are rarely happy in books", he answers, looking like an innocent child. Maybe he is one.

He chuckles, "They aren't paid, but I give them a home, that's all it matters when it comes to orphans. I treated them well with foods and—"

Sasuke cuts him with a hint of anger. "They need justice. It's a fact that you don't paid them."

Jiko-san smiles and shakes his head. He closes his eyes and when they look up again, they look old and tired, seemingly gave up on something he should do a long time ago.

"Freedom and justice aren't the priorities in this world. Behind peace there is war, and behind love there is pain. Sacrifices are based on lies." He continues like a death penalty. "You have to accept your faith and be grateful of what you have. You will understand that one day." His eyes shined with something like pity. And it pissed Naruto off.

"What do you mean?", says Naruto, already shaking with frustration. Sakura looks at him with somewhat worry for him to lost control. Again.

"This world is full of tragedies, child." He signs. "Ninja world is full of hate and it seems that we can't just accept what we have already, that's why wars start." He points at them. "And you, child. All of you." He gestures the three of them. "Are what we need to protect. You are our legacy to the future." He sighs. "Accepting what we have is something we gained with ages. You don't need to understand that now." 

"I am a kunoshi, Jiko-san." Interferes Sakura before anyone else. "I am not someone who will accept my faith and I shall not accept whenever injustice in this world."

He observes them for a minute, like contemplating some new born materials, still vulnerable and fragile as glass.

"What is peace for you?" 

Naruto shakes a bit from the question itself.

"What is justice to you?"

Sasuke's jaw clenches.

"And what do you know about the ninja world aside from books?"

Sakura lowers his head.

Jiko-san turns to look at the white moon. "You will grow up one day, and you will find out that sometimes you just need to corporate with the reality. Accepting faith and give up might be the best thing to do one day." He signs again. "This is growing up."

The silence stretches out and make everything stops. The time. The moon. His eyes are not bleeding anymore.

"No."

They all blurt out in the same moment and look at each other with surprise. And excitement.

(It's like they have found something in common)

"It seems I will never grow up then." Sakura smiles at his childlike phrase, even Sasuke seems to smirk a bit.

"I promise", he says to the stars, eyes glittered with stars themselves, and he feels for the first time in two months that he is at peace. "I promise I won't give up. And I will never let accept my faith nor injustice in this world. I will change the hate."

(He can feels his heart racing with excitement)

"It's a promise of a _lifetime_."

(Because he can feels his teammates saying the same thing to their heart)

XXXXXxxxxx

"Thank you Jiko-san", says Kakashi as they are going to leave. The morning everyone returns to sleep late, causing them to be a little sleepy. But Kakashi has noticed the sudden change in the team.

(It's oddly beautiful)

"Thanks them to me, Kakashi-san." Says the plantation owner. "I had a wonderful discussion yesterday. They have great dreams, these children. Makes me remember my younger self", he laughs.

"I just hope they won't become another me at the end." He whispers, before waving his hand and saying goodbye.

(It's like they have finally found—)

"Hey! Why you are walking beside Sakura-chan? Move, your bastard!"

"Hn."

"What the hell is this 'hn' teme!"

"It means that you should shut up."

(The sparkles and begin to build them into stars)

"Naruto! You need to shut up! Sasuke-kun needs silence!", Kakashi looks at Sakura wide eyed, surprise that she did interfered to the boys usual morning conversation.

(And create a new moon)

"You too Sakura-chan...", he looks at her with a sad expression, but his eyes is telling that he is more than happy about this. Probably because he sees the teasing manner in Sakura's face. Kakashi feels left behind for a lot of things.

"Ah!", he looks about to remember something, making their teammates turn to him. "Umm...", Naruto suddenly becomes hesitant. "Um...Well, Sasuke...?"

"What?", says Sasuke with an annoyed tone.

"Aaaa...umm...", Naruto never leaves his eyes to a blank spot in the sky.

"Say it"

"F-fine!"

Then Sakura laughs, along with Kakashi.

"I-I just found this yesterday but I forget it", whispers Naruro still looking at the sky.

"Naruto, daisies weren't in the plantation, where did you find it?", asks Sakura between two laughs.

"I searched a long time—! I-I mean, I just found it on the ground!", mutters Naruto, still staring at the blank spot like this some golden treasure. "An—anyway! Just take it your bastard!", he tosses the flower in Sasuke's hands, and run away.

"We need to hurry up!", he yells at them. "And stop laughing you two!"

(And create a new _world_ )

"Sasuke-kun?"

"Hn?"

"Your ears are red."

As Kakashi chuckles, he realizes the orange freesia tossing in Sasuke's pocket. He can't help but look at Sakura, who gives him the same look.

He laughs more.

(He wishes the orange freesia would be in the hands of their real owner, if Sasuke has the courage to give it)


	4. Secrets

Sasuke still couldn't sleep this time.

Every time, every day, every moment, he closes his eyes and remembers the day, that time when everything was alright. He can remembers the sound of his kindhearted mom, whispering and teasing him about his stubborn dad. And his brother. He watches the painful scenes from afar, and knows he will never never never _never_ relax with these eyes who seem to fix him with hate.

He stays still when his father's yellowed and craved eyes fixed him silently and dry and white lips parted, telling him with a voice of death:

"You ruined everything, Sasuke."

He bites his lips.

(I am sorry)

And his mother's accusing and even dying voice makes him shallow. Blood are dipping down her mouth when she speaks with a cold and the kind-hearted mom Sasuke had seen is from a long time ago. A lifetime ago.

"Sasuke, you could save us. But you didn't."

His fingers twitched.

(I am so sorry, please—)

And he would then shelter in his cover, because nono— no, his voice's gonna came, the memory will come along, will come along, will fucking come with his voice. The least he wants to hear. The worst of them all.

"You are too weak, Sasuke."

(I know)

"You are not worth anything, that's why I keep you alive."

(And _liar_ )

"I killed this clan to test my ability."

Because he is the best liar—

"Maybe next time, Sasuke."

That's why there won't be a next time. Neither an answer to his question. To his affection. To his admiration.

To his despair call of why, why why he would sacrifice everything for this village, for their sake, for his sake. How much painpainpain he had to endure, to suffer for this order. Konoha is the biggest liar, he thinks, eyes opened and fixed forcefully at the wall. They are the worst failure, the only mistake. He winces when he punches the blank wall. He feels his knuckles breaks and he couldn't care less.

(Who can be more failed than them when you couldn't even tell the truth)

He wonders what he should do after reaching Itachi. He wants to know this since he found the censured truth when he was eight. He wonders what exactly he should do to make a change— a concrete one.

He reread the papers again, and as he tossed them aside and put them in a safe place, he gets out of his Uchiha compound. It still smells like blood and tears.

(He wants to see Naruto)

So when he didn't see him on the training grounds, he returned and prepared for another sleepless night.

As he looked at the black wall, he dreams of the sun.

XXXXXXXxxxxxxx

The next morning, Sakura wakes up early to get at the bridge. While she already knows what kind of missions come next, she is still excited to see her teammates, especially Sasuke. When she arrived, the only person standing on the wooden bridge is his long-time crush, looking kind of tired. His face lifts up at her sight, but obsidian orbs quickly lost his light after he realizes who it was.

"Um- H-Hi, Sasuke-kun!"

"Hn."

After the stressful greeting, everything seems to end here. Nobody talks and the strangely over present tension in team 7 seems to grew more around them. Sakura bits her lips, finding out that even she was near him, she couldn't find a topic to say. The air feels freshly cleaned with the morning sunrise, but Sakura only feels her cheeks burning when Sasuke spoke:

"Say, Sakura?"

"Y-yes?", she hates the gambling voice she has when she speaks to him.

"Did you know why Naruto isn't coming? Even Kakashi would be here after a while.", he stares at her blankly but his voice betrayed him. He sounds weird.

"I don't know, Sasuke-kun.", she states with a frown. This is true, Naruto may be annoying, but he is never late. "I haven't seen him since our last mission."

As he didn't pursue the conversation, Sakura adds unexpectedly:

"Why do you care? I mean, you hate him right?"

While Sakura _knows_ that this is another sort of friendship, she couldn't _understand_ how.They are just like the coin's other face, the fine lines separating them from being friendship and bitter rivalry. The silver coin jumped onto the other half to reach the other, while Sakura is the copper-like middle, the strange in-between. It somehow pissed her off.

"Yeah, I hate him." Sasuke's eyes glittered with palpable interest and something she couldn't placed. "So I better find him where he is to beat him up."

"But aren't you guys friends?" The words escape his mouth without her approval and she realizes the few times they talked, it was all about Naruto. "You seem—"

A voice stopped her continuing:

"Yo."

Both didn't reply, startled that it was Kakashi instead of an blond idiot.

"Yo!" A joyful voice comes through soon after, and this time they happily turn and froze at the sight. This is strange. And scaring.

"I am being late I know! But seriously no need for this face! Especially you teme!"

Nobody talk for a moment, stunned by Naruto's look. Sasuke shallows slightly with Sakura letting out a little scream. Only Kakashi signed. "I am getting ignored more and more... Where is the respect for the elders?"

All of Naruto's face, wrists, knees and hands are covered in bandages, and he seems much paler than before. He looks like that he got into a deadly fight with someone and even with just a peek, Sakura knows that he needs some medical help, and not some random bandages.

"Hey! Hey? Is it anyone here? Y'all look lost." He tilts his head, looking genuinely confused by their reaction.

"What is happening?", it was Sasuke who asked, looking at him intensely.

"Aaa? You mean these?" His eyes widen as he gestured his bandaged wounds. "I fall and then I get these damn bruises!" He laughs quietly and rubbing the back of his neck.

He isn't good at lying, Sakura frowns.

"What _really_ happened?" Sasuke asks once again, loosing his patience. "You won't get away with some half-ass answers, you know that."

Before Naruto could reply, Kakashi interferes. "Maaa ma, don't rush things. Can we held to the Hokage tower for the new mission since we are already late?"

"No." Says stubbornly the raven. "Or he says it by himself, or I force him to speak."

This time everything is electric, almost shocking to see them face to face, Sasuke looks like willing to torn Kakashi sensei's limbs if he doesn't let him question Naruto. And yet here she is, being useless about her teammates protection. Sakura feels the boiling anger raising on her, the uncontrollable feeling of weakness within. She pokes Naruto's head with a strong blow, displeasure clear on her face.

"Itai Sakura-chan!" He yells, covering his injury with both hands. "What did I do?"

"Listen." Sakura states calmly. "I am not going to move until you tell us what happened. So speak." She feels for the first time Sasuke is silently agreeing with her, joy overwhelmed her when she finally feels to be a part of the team. "Naruto, what happened?"

The boy looks like being trapped in a cage. He hasn't except their teammates would care, at least Kakashi doesn't. "Look, S-Sakura-chan... We are going to be late so let's move on okay? It's not a big deal..." He gazes at Sasuke, seemingly searching for help.

Sakura watches with clear surprise when Sasuke defends her. "Keep that pitiful eyes away from me and start talking, moron." He takes his wrist that almost makes Naruto's skin darkened. Sasuke doesn't seem to notice that and continuing to stare at the boy.

Sakura suddenly remembers that Sasuke is the Uchiha Sasuke, dangerous. Obsessive and crippling scary. She takes an short inhale.

(They look like about to explode, like collisions. Like _stars_ )

Instead of bickering like they always do, Naruto balls his fists and looked away. He shakes a bit, not from weakness.

(But rage)

"I don't want to talk about this." The suddenly cold and pained voice comes out down his dry thorax. "Let go."

Then he goes in front, Sasuke doesn't stop him this time. Sakura can't say anything else. Kakashi follows at the end of the team.

(They don't have the right either)

As they move on, she realizes that Naruto hasn't been the one to talk about himself. With his loud and obnoxious screams, he seems to be such a reserved person that Sakura doesn't even know a single thing about him, except the fact that he is always alone. The always talking form of the blonde makes her believe this. She blames him for that.

(She also realizes that she doesn't even try to understand him before too)

She gazes at Sasuke who looks back, both comprehension in their eyes. She can't believe that they start to talk for Naruto's sake. She couldn't have expect this. In fact, she hasn't expected anything from this team.

(It seemed so fluid, so normal that both tried to ignore it)

"Sasuke-kun?"

"Hn?"

(This _bond_ )

"You hate Naruto, right?"

"Yeah."

"Me too. Glad we find something in common."

(For the first time, Sakura has impression that this team will not be silent anymore)

And they head for their first C rank mission.

XXXXXXXxxxxxx

Kakashi sighs when he saw the damp water. He knows the troubles will begin. This mission was to bring the old man safely in town but Kakashi doesn't think it will be that easy. The land of the Waves is not known for a peaceful manner.

As Naruto keeps yelling in excitement for their first high rank mission, the jounin quietly watches the bushes and prepares for an ambush. Naruto's loud scream makes him startled for a second.

"Kakashi-sensei!"

Chains are suddenly wrapping him, threatening his death. Kakashi watches quietly near the horrible scenes as his replacement gets cut into pieces and becoming woods with a pouf of smoke. As his contentment, the team seven quickly begins to fall in actions.

Sakura goes to Teuchi-san's side and Sasuke is in front of her, protecting them both. The kunochi frowns, not appealing to be the protected one.

"Go and protect Naruto! He is the weakest of us all! Remember?" She cries as the ninjas move.

"We have a mission, Sakura." He states coldly. "We have to protect Teuchi-san. Do you remember?" He says, warning clear in his voice.

"Besides..."

As Kakashi and the others catch the sight of Naruto, they all watch with amazement how much he shakes with rage and disgust. He is clearly hyperventilating over Kakashi's supposed 'dead' corpse. Sasuke shallows the rest of the sentence down his thorax.

("....he is fully capable of protecting himself.")

As Naruto's shaking stops, he begins to take both hands in his unruly hair, pressing them enough to dig out many of his hair. He looks about going insane. And Kakashi 's eyes widen in surprise as they only feel frustration and pain and angst and suffering and the _insanelyeyesflashingredandblueandredandblue_ but not fear.

Anything but fear.

(And this scared the hell out of Kakashi, thought)

"You BASTARD!"

The hired ninjas seem to finally notice the angry boy. Smirking under their masks and with a quick glance at each other, they turn their attack at Naruto.

His eyes flare suddenly from blue to flashing crimson, but it all looks like an illusion after returning to the sky blue. He glares at each one of the ninjas. He keeps muttering something he couldn't hear. He doesn't moved, nor even attempt to lay a single finger on the enemies. He just watches, with a terrible calm and rage, the supposed dead body of his sensei.

_Another one, another one._

Before Kakashi could do something, a shadow moved and get in front of the blonde, and take the attack that went to Naruto.

_Another one, whywhy **why** another one._

"Are you hurt... Scaredy-cat?" Sasuke goes and smirks. "Dobe, get your ass up, we still have work."

_I should have be warn myself, having hope is pitiful. Fucking ninjas and their life lessons._

Naruto doesn't look up, or he doesn't even heard Sasuke's call. He is just muttering about something only his near teammate can hear, and even at this situation, Sasuke couldn't help but gasp when he heard him. Kakashi thinks it's time to show up.

When the final blow hits the best out of the enemies, Sasuke and Naruto are still standing there, face to face, the raven glaring him intently and Naruto looking at him with loud breathing, impossibly glad for him for being alive that it's almost ironic. Naruto clearly wanted to kill him the day of the bell test.

"Kakashi-sensei!!" He ignores Sasuke and jumps at him, happy giggles burst from Naruto's chest and muffles a whisper. "Kakashi-sensei..."

He awkwardly pats his head, while looking at his surroundings, expecting some other ambushes. He watches with surprise the relived face of Sasuke when he saw him and the teary eyes of Sakura when she finds him still. He scratches the back of his head embarrassingly, a slight blush on his cheeks. He hasn't been thinking about this reaction from his genin cell.

"Um, Naruto, you can get off now." He frowns, feeling Naruto shaking, trembling from a emotion that isn't directed to him.

"I—" The blonde begins, but is soon cut off by the unusual sound of wind and leaves. A man with a giant sword is standing on a branch of tree and with a quick glance, he knows who it was.

"Naruto." While Kakashi was concentrated to the rogue ninja in front of him, Sasuke speaks. "We will have to _fucking_ talk about all this shit you said", he gritted hardly.

_I should have destroyed the leaf, then nothing will be lost._

And the battle between Kakashi and Zabuza begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long update ;w; I have my finals buuuut I am free now!! It's 2 am so I get this chapter out before Christmas ;3; I hope y'all get a happy holidays! 
> 
> (Still dying for reviews) 
> 
> PS: things are getting started, I guess ;3


	5. Team seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. So as things get a little further. I would like to explain that Iruka's death is really something primordial to make dark Naruto happened. Since Iruka was the only person to acknowledge Naruto back then, the loss of this specific person can bring a lot reaction. Sucide nor other mental unstableness are normal. And it often will bring solitude and loneliness all along the way. And it forced Naruto to mature at a short period of time. 
> 
> And as I am focusing on Naruto right now, Sasuke is not in a good situation either. I am well aware that even in canon these two suffered from several mental illness. Which is why Konoha didn't give any help to them amiright?

  
_"Why Oyaji?! You should tell what happened to the village?" , Naruto screamed, shaking. "Iruka-sensei died! You should— should tell everyone that Mizuki is a bitch!"_

_"Language, Naruto." The Hokage calmly stated, too calm to make him calm down, actually. "You don't need to know the implications behind these. Iruka's death is unfortunate, but—"_

_"But fucking what Oyaji?! Mizuki was a bastard! You should tell them what happened to the village and—"_

_"Naruto!" Hs risen voice startled Naruto for a moment. "These cases are not that simple.." Naruto opened his mouth but were cut by the Hokage's hand sign. "Villages, and nations... they all need a balance. While we are in a peaceful time, Konoha need to keep this balance like every other villages."_

_He continued and Naruto was digging his nails onto his palms, shaking even harder._

_"Iruka's death can't be revealed, Naruto. If the other villages know that our chunnin betrayed us, and some internal conflict as well, they will think we are weaker than before, therefore attacking us." The smoke of his pipe is suffocating._

_"This is for safety and peaceful manner, Naruto. We have to sacrifice Iruka. I am sorry."_

_"Ne, Oyaji." Naruto nearly laughed. "I don't understand a single thing but I guess I know." He wondered why he was not surprised. "Just tell me."_

_"How many people do you guys sacrifice for the village?"_

_Sarutobi didn't answer._

_"Are children like me in those nations? A jinchuriki?"_

_Konoha wouldn't answer._

_"And Sasuke? I heard his clan being murdered. Does it has anything with you guys?"_

_Nobody would answer._

_They lost count a long time ago._

_And Naruto thought that maybe being Hokage wasn't a dream. It was a nightmare. Thought that maybe being accepted by one of them wasn't a dream. It was a lie._

_And Naruto woke up now. He woke up now._

XXXxxxx

They are arrived safely in Tazuna's house, Sakura can finally take a rest.

Kakashi were amazing, with his Kenke Genkai and all, but Sakura had enough of all this. She just wanted a rest from all she did saw.

That masked shinobi was strong. Yet the said shinobi looked like their age, she thought angrily. She should practice more, or else kunoichi's reputation would be ruined. She was here for Sasuke yes, but she wouldn't choose to be a ninja if she doesn't want to. She was here for the fights and missions, and if cases, wars. Most importantly, protect her teammates.

Yet she seems to be the one who they protected.

"More rice please!" Two voices come from her two said teammates, and Sakura gets even a bit embarrassed by their expressions. They look so hungry it's scary.

As Kakashi is discussing with Tazuna and Naruto and Sasuke are eating crazily, Sakura noticed a picture frame with a broken piece in it.

"Ne, what's this?" She points at the picture.

"It's my father." The quiet child from the corner states angrily.

Then after Sakura couldn't quite describe what happened. That boy cries and Naruto was frustrated and Sasuke was staring at Naruto with a worrisome glare. And the near prefect peacefulness broke into pieces when Naruto runs outside and never return.

Then Sasuke went outside too, taking a walk, he said.

And she is the only one left in team seven. Again.

XXXXxxxx

Sasuke finds him near the river.

He sits down beside him, carefully not looking at him. He signs.

"Naruto."

He doesn't answer. Only a scowl makes him realize he is listening.

"You are strange. Even more these days."

Another scowl. "Stay away Sasuke. This is not your business anymore."

He finally turns and looks at his still broken shoulder and body. "What are these bruises? And what did you say when we were in the forest? What the fuck is wrong with you!?"

"I fucking say stay away from me, teme!" He glares at him back, looking ready for a fight. Funny enough, Sasuke is ready too. "Sasuke. We are so different." He suddenly says, nearly laughing. "I said before, things changed." He returns his eyes back to the river. "Say, why do you even pay attention to me? I don't need your pity."

He doesn't reply and let the words sink. He watches the nightly sky instead. And the world seems to be silent for a second. He closed his eyes, suddenly tired to start a fight.

When he reopens them, he sees the face of Naruto an inch from him.

(He did not blushed)

"Answer my question damnit!" He cries out, and Sasuke feels his heart racing.

(And feel glad because no matter how he changed, he is still Naruto)

"Answer my question before, usuratonkachi."

(And this is more than enough)

"Okay, okay!" He puts his arms on the back of his head. "What do you want to know?"

"What are these bruises?" He asks again. "And the words you said... what?"

He seems thoughtful for a moment. "One question only!" He gestures one finger at him. "Or else it would be unfair for me!" He waves the finger childishly. "And you are not winning on this, Sasuke!"

Sasuke nearly smirks at the mention of 'winning'. _This is not a fight, dobe._ "Fine. What are these bruises." He says it for the third time, and adds. "I won't tell anyone." He signs inwardly, it's like dealing with a child.

"No, no. It doesn't matter anyway. Kakashi-sensei and Ojaji already know it so I guess it's only Sakura-chan and you who didn't know it. She won't care anyway." He puts his hands in the water and splashes it on his face. Sasuke gasps at the cold water who accidentally touched him too.

"They are mine."

He resists the urge to roll his eyes. "Of course it's yours. Where they came from?"

"It's me." He states with such an ease that Sasuke wonders if this is another lame joke he once did on their way to mission.

"What the fuck do you mean it's you?!" He takes his orange jacket, revealing another burn on his neck. Naruto winces a bit in pain and makes Sasuke slows down his move.

"Means the fuck it's me. Now, answer to my question." He replies calmly. This Naruto is scary, he is calm and steady, and this is more than  _terrifying_. "Why do you want to know all that from me bastard?"

He lands a punch on him. "Before that, what do you mean by it's you?! Did you have nothing to do in your miserable life that you have burn yourself?!"

Naruto swipes the blood from the blow with the back of his hand and draws the fist to him. "I said answer my question! And quit lying teme! I cut myself, but I don't think you guys would fucking care!"

Sasuke eyes him with frustration and stops the fight for a moment before replacing them with words. "Sakura cares! Damnit! I don't know for Kakashi but Sakura did care! So tell me the fuck why you are doing with your self-destructive ass!"

"Then answer me!" Naruto lost the calm he held and this makes Sasuke feels more comfortable with it. "Answer me."

"Answer me Sasuke."

He looks genuinely confused.

"Why would people care for me?"

He looks for wanting this answer so bad. Like he really doesn't know.

"Why? Why would you or Sakura-chan pay attention to me? Answer me damnit!!" He takes his blue shirt and is nearly destroying it. "Answer!"

_I don't know._

"Sasuke..."

_I have been watching you since childhood. And I still don't know._

"Answer me."

_You shared the same pain as me. The same past._

"Hell, are you dumb? Are you—"

_Maybe because I wanted to be friends with you._

He stands and walks behind him, taking a sit behind the other's back, just like the other day.

"Naruto, don't leave your back to you enemy." He says, just like the other day.

_Naruto, you can leave your back to me._

And as Naruto silently understands and soft sobbing come, Sasuke puts his head on his, lifting his face to the starlet sky. Just like the other day.

_Because we are friends now._

And Sasuke cries too.

Cried for the loss, cried for the truth, and cried for the pain, cried for _their_ past, and mostly cried for _both of them._

No one talk.

And yet the warmth from the touching backs said that _it will be okay._

_It will be okay._

XXXXXxxxxx

 _This is not okay._ Naruto thought. What he sees there is actually crazy.

Because Uchiha Sasuke is not ignoring Haruno Sakura. He is actually talking to her, without his fine ass pretentious and rude manner? This world is going to end, Naruto thinks about bringing his cup ramen with him when the earth will be crashed by some unknown monsters and dangerous animals because Uchiha Sasuke isn't supposed to be talking to Haruno Sakura like this.

Makes him wonder if they have become somewhat close when he was not around.

It's true, since he usually prefers to train alone and doesn't spend of lot of time with team seven. He doesn't even talk much with them.

He is supposed to feel jealous and go and beat Sasuke down, but all he feel is a slight uncomfortableness and a want to cut his skin again. The fox bastard isn't going to heal those wounds, acting stubborn more than anything else. He is not complaining, though.

Since they don't have single room for each of them, they are placed in the largest room that this little house can manages. Naruto doesn't mind, but he is surprised that Sakura would willing to sleep with two guys, since she always states she was a lady. _And a lady doesn't sleep with two guys._

Maybe because she just wants to talk to Sasuke, now to think of it. So he does like everyone would do face at this situation. He pretends to sleep and listen.

"Sasuke-kun, what does he say?" Comes Sakura's muffled voice. "You have talked to him?"

"Yeah."Sasuke moves a bit closer to Sakura to let her understand. And as Naruto hears the light gasp and the silence that settles again, he realizes that he is discovered.

"Naruto. If you want to listen, then stop pretend to be asleep, dumbass." Sasuke states calmly. "I was just saying to Sakura that it was yourself who did those wounds, nothing you don't know." The repressed anger is palpable, yet Naruto jumps out of his cover, and yells.

"You said you will keep it secret!!"

Sakura makes a sign to lower his voice, while Sasuke shrugs. "You said it doesn't matter."

"Yeah but—" He wants to protest, but stop at seeing Sakura's tears.

"S-Sakura-chan..." He panics. "Why are you crying?"

"Am I THIS untrustworthy Naruto?!" She tries to keep her voice stable and fails. "You never tell us a single thing about yourself and of course you tell them to Sasuke-kun and I am the only left..." She is now shaking and Sasuke looks so embarrassed to be stuck in the middle of the bed, not knowing what to do.

"Guys, we are a team." She looks at them with teary yet determined eyes. "And if you want to be a team, we are gonna act like one."

She gets up and sits down on the tatami that is underneath the bed. "Listen, Naruto. For now on, you are going to train with us." Sakura swipes her tears away. And count with her fingers. "Umm let's see."

Naruto doesn't even have time to express his discontent when she continued. "Eat with us. Do you even eat? I haven't see you eat since...like forever." She frowns. "You know what, just stay with us. " She changed. "You won't have to hurt yourself again then!" She is going to punch his head but instead ruffles his hair. "Understand?"

Behind her sweet smile and curved eyes, he knows the consequences if he says no. So he nods and keep the disapproving voice in his heart.

"Understood, Sakura-chan!" He makes a hand wave and grins as much as he can.

Sasuke smirks and it makes him disgustingly happy.

"Gonna treat me with ramen!" He says while he remembers a brown haired chunnin, smiling back at him. _If you clean all that up, Naruto._

XXXXXxxxxx

Behind the mountains and rocks, and behind the light and the shining sun, voices come from far away.

"Are you sure it's a good idea?!"

"We have the approval of the whole organization, expect you." A man states with authority. "So no matter what you say, this would therefore not count as an valid argument."

"No, but this is actually dangerous! Will you understand the consequences of this plan if he tires to escape?! He will betrayed us and give away our secrets!"

"Yes, I agree on the implications, since I am the one who started this project. But it has more advantages than you think. Try to cooperate. It's for the peace and the greater good.

The man in question looks thoughtful and signs. "Okay okay, then. Do what you want then. You are the boss anyway."

"Good." He nods. "Then."

"Let's begin the chase of Kyubbi."

XXXXXXxxxxx

"Achoum!"

Kakashi eyes him with a his usually bored expression. "Catch a cold?"

"Maybe." Says Naruto while rubbing his nose.

After eating breakfast, they are going to train. Sasuke and Sakura watching him every two minutes as if he will escape if they let him breathe. "They know." He growls.

"Aaa.." Kakashi replies, eyes on his orange little book. "They know? That's why they are not leaving you two meters long?" He chuckles. "You becoming their protégé, you know that?"

"Yeah yeah."

"You don't look happy." It's a fact.

"Of course I am not! They don't need to be like this! They are just waisting their time on me."

He turns his gaze to his hands. "One day I will leave here." The wounds are the same as that night. The blood and tears will always stay. "And y'all won't have to play this teammates game anymore."

"Why are you saying this to me?" Kakashi asks, looking a bit taken aback.

The blonde shakes his head with a laugh.

"If I am gone one day, tell'em that."


	6. Living

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late chapter and this is a short one ;-; 
> 
> I will reread it when I will finish my assignment ksoakskx

Naruto first meets her when he woke up in a forest, with leaves in his head and birds on his shoulder.

It was when the rising sun and the start warming sunlight, when he finally got off of his teammates and train alone for a whole a whole night. It was then, when a hand touched his face. The sun is raising slowly, and the sunlight makes the women shines and Naruto lost his breath for a moment.

Yesterday was a lot of training, his teammates stayed with him and spared for the night. And once they were all asleep, he head on to the forest to train more. Sasuke noticed, though Naruto insisted that he wanted to go alone this time. He let him.

"Naruto." That women replies with a soft smile. Her black cloak appears to be an magnificent robe on her. "I find you."

"Uh?" He tilts his head. "Why do you even know my name, nee-chan?" He blinks to have a better look of this stranger under the blinding light. "Who are you?"

She stays silent and then drawls with a sad voice. "Uzumaki Naruto, the Kyubbi." Naruto freezes at the called name. "You weren't supposed to have such a destiny." She sets a kneel on the ground and looks at him in the eye. "You weren't supposed to be in Konoha, come with us, you will be free then."

He loses all appreciation he had on the women while he digs his nails in the dirt aggressively. "Who are you?"

The women lets out a little laugh. Adorable but Naruto doesn't let that show. "Do you have anything to prevent you from being free of your own?" She asks instead.

He thinks about some strange things like some a old man's laugh and a gentle pat in the head, he thinks about some dumb stuff like a smirk from this more-dumber teammate, he remembers that cherry-haired girl and her smile. And yelling. And screams. And whispers.

(He also knows that his teacher who was his hope died for him, died and not mourned, because of him too.)

He doesn't reply. The women ruffles his head with a laugh. Somehow irritating him more. Her merigold eyes makes him stiffen a little. With her hands, pieces of paper lift up with supposedly no existent wind and with spiraling leaves, a little flower made with paper lay down on her palm.

She picks it and puts it in his hair. "It's alright you don't know yet, Naruto-kun." She arranges the paper flower with fondness, while Naruto is struggling to get out of her hold. "I will come back when you feel ready."

She then end this conversation with a soft pat on his head, standing to leave.

"Wait." He calls out, thoughtful. She stops and turns with curiosity.

"Yes, Naruto-kun?" With a motherly voice, she answers. "Can ask me anything you want, unless things that I am forbidden to say."

"Look, Nee-san." He touches the fragile origami and thinks that this is the first time he receives a gift, aside from being born. "Why do you think that I will go to you? Like, I don't even know why your name and your intentions and all, " She doesn't look like a bad person, though. "What if you just want me because I am a jinchurriki and crap like this?"

Her soft features suddenly hardened when she states with a firm and calm voice. "We want you because you are a jinchurriki, Naruto. You are a need for us."

"It's for our goal, it's for the _peace_."

He sneers. "I have heard that. This word will just bring more deaths than anything." He slow down his hands to touch at the hitai-ate of the Leaf symbol in it. The carved and cold spaces between the metal remembering him that night. "Why do you think I will go for you then? I am not _stupid_."

"You are not stupid." The winds start swirling again in empty space, and papers this time create a pair of wings behind her back. "You are a monster."

The shiver doesn't cover his frustration. "What?"

"A jinchurriki, to be exact." She hold in her palm a red sheet. "You are this red sheet. Drained in blood and war even before its creation." She lands the said crimson paper on his palm smoothly. "A monster by birth," She smiles.

"And a monster by _choices_."

The winged form disappears, papers landing everywhere. But the red one still rest calmly on his shaking palm.

"Violence will bring violence. Oppression will bring oppression. And pained heart will always bring revenge. It's a cycle of hatred. It's a cycle of human dignity and pride."

She disappears under the the pouring sheets, and under the branches and the birds songs, under those voices and whispers and screams, only thing left in him is that red, bloody sheet.

"And you will one day choose the same. Because you know what it feels like. Revenge and peace, whatever you choose, you will come to me. To _us_."

He wonders how many people had been sacrificed for this single sheet, how many times opinions was being shut and and and —

He clutches the red in his hands and in his heart. Put this in his pocket. And breaks and tears this fine sheet again and again in his heart.

— and wonders and wonders how much deaths was caused by him. During that infamous Kyuubi attack.

(He was searching answers and questions and explications and—)

"What are you doing here?"

(— and if sheets were supposed to red. If those blood were worth being shed, roses weren't worth to touch, after all)

"Sasuke?"

He returns with surprise when he sees the boy standing behind him, a annoyed while worried expression on his face. Then he is suddenly aware that no. _No_.

Porcelains aren't created to be painted in red, the boy in front of him isn't supposed to be one of them. Protect it, his head says. Treasure it, his heart whispers.

 _Forget it_ , his soul screams.

XXXXxxxx

Sasuke talked to a women when he had his so said walk.

She was beautiful, dark hair and dark eyes, and her smile made him remembered his mom, sweet and warm. She saw him, and like mother's eyes, she asks. Slowly and clearly.

"Have you someone to protect?" Words are floating in her soothing voice, calm and serene.

Sasuke forgot what he replied. He had his parents that he once loved, his brother that he needed to find, and what else? Some legacy, some words to treasure, to keep in him mind? Some things to consider in the Uchiha compound? That yellowed letter that speaks about the truth? Things and people and—

_Ah._

_He had a team to protect._

So he thought he said yes, I have two teammates to look after, a stupid blond and a pink-haired girl, not that they are important but—

And she smiled more, with a determination that was not in his mother's eyes. She looked at him some kind of pity and animosity at the same time.

"You know, when you have someone that you wanted to protect, you will become truly strong. Stronger that anyone."

He remembered he nodded sleepily, not sure what she meant at that moment. She suddenly stands up, and slowly walked away. Her beautiful figure made him blushed a little.

"We will meet again, Sasuke-kun."

When he wondered why she knew his name, she laughed with a elegance that seemingly have some mocking in it.

"By the way, I am a boy."

Then she— _shit_ — he walked away, and left him confused with her— _fuck_ — his words. And he stands up too, walked in the opposed direction of that boy— _not again fuck_ — girl to continued his walk.

(Or to find Naruto, but this is not what he had said to Sakura and Kakashi)

XXXxxx

Sakura imagines death so much it feels like a memory.

She imagines about blood and cut thorax, maybe her, maybe her enemies, but not at once she thinks they would get in this kind of situation.

She is shaking with every ounce of her body but does not back away from Tazuna's side, she is here for a mission, and she deserves to be in the sequel of this whole play.

_Dead or alive._

Kakashi is looking more than willing to get a nap but is still at his feet, facing Zabuza, that killer whom they meet once, but she sure doesn't want to have an encounter with him again.

They are in a queer situation. Sakura wonders if this bridge can take their weight and if this bridge of hope was their place to die. Ironic indeed, but hope isn't something you can get without a price.

Sasuke is alone with that masked kid, and she hopes with all her heart that he is not that price they should paid to get some peace of mind. Some peace of hope.

When Naruto appears, without any discretion and hiding, she thinks that he is their hope. Naruto gets to help Sasuke, and she can finally let her sigh of relief.

She doesn't know what happened after a flash of red and cold blood in that mirror glasses, but she knows that they win.

Until the glasses disappear, and Naruto isn't breathing in Sasuke's arms. And Sasuke isn't breathing too, for another different reason.

"No, " was the only word she could let of before she runs in their direction.

Naruto isn't moving, isn't breathing and isn't talking and isn't laughing and isn't living.

Isn't _living_?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He isn't breathing I can assume this 
> 
> Please review ;3; Those made me so happy alxmks


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